If you’re sleeping on a mattress that is too firm or too hard for you, this can lead to poor sleep quality.
In some cases you’ll have hard time falling asleep, or will wake up with back and neck problems. In the long term this can lead to sleep deprivation and will have an effect on your overall health.
But before you return your mattress or throw it out, there are a few things you should try to soften up your mattress.
1. Replace your bed frame or slats
If you’re sleeping on a bed frame with slats, double check if they are solid or sprung slats. Solid slats generally make a mattress feel firmer, on the other hand sprung slats cushion your mattress and provide a softer feel.
So if you’re looking for a softer sleep surface, sprung slats are the better option for you. Also, double check that all slats are evenly spaced apart (with a gap of 7cm or less between each slat), and that there are no broken slats that need to be replaced.

If you’re sleeping on a divan base, then check if it’s a platform top divan base, which gives a firmer more supportive feel. Or if it’s a sprung divan base, which provides a softer and more sumptuous feel.
2. Add a mattress topper or pad
If you can’t replace or return your mattress, a cheap option is to add a softer topper or pad to the mattress. It’s not ideal, but it may give your mattress the time it needs to be broken.
When shopping for a mattress topper, check how thick it is (usually they are between 3cm-7cm thick), what materials it’s made of and its firmness (soft, medium, or firm).

Above you can see the Dorma Sumptuous Soft Mattress Topper, which has a 100% cotton cover and recycled polyester fibre inside. It’s soft and sumptuous, with one customer saying that they feel like “sleeping on a cloud”. It’s priced at £80 – £115 depending on the size.
3. Increase your room temperature
Memory foam mattresses can stiffen and feel very firm in the cold, so check if your room is too cold and consider warming it up by a few degrees.
If you see an improvement, you’ll need to decide if you can sleep with the warmer room temperature or if the mattress needs to be returned.
4. Break it in and wait
A mattress should take 2-3 weeks to soften and contour to your body, and it could even take a month or longer. If you don’t want to wait, then gently walk on it daily to soften it up further, and take any opportunity to sleep or lay on it that you can. The more it gets used, the faster it will get broken in.
5. Rotate or flip your mattress
If your mattress hasn’t softened to your liking with a week or two, then flip it as the underside should be softer from the increased pressure it’s been under. Give your mattress another week to contour to your body, and then at least you know you gave it a chance.

However, keep in mind that some mattresses are “one-sided” or “no-turn”, this means that you can rotate them clock or counterclockwise, however you shouldn’t flip them over. This is because they’re made of different materials on the top and bottom side.
Returning your mattress
If you bought a new mattress that comes with a sleep trial, and you’ve tried all the tips on this list, then consider returning it. Just make sure that the trial period has not passed.
Some companies have an exchange policy, which means that you can exchange your mattress for a different one. This time speak to a representative and specifically ask for a softer one.
Other companies such as Simba and Nectar have a 365 day trial period, which is a full year. This means that you can sleep and test the mattress in your own home, and if you’re not happy with its firmness then you can return it and get a full refund.